Wombs For Rent: Let's Talk About The Pain Of A Surrogate Mother

 

Surrogacy and rights of a surrogate mother are always the highly disputed topic around the globe. Some Countries have strong surrogacy laws, while some are not so sturdy. As a result, in the absence of strict legal bindings, women renting their wombs not only suffer from adverse social consequences but also face economic, psychological and livelihood challenges that worsen their material conditions.

Surrogacy is a boon for couples or individuals who want to enjoy parenthood. Whereas the surrogate mother sometimes has to pay a high cost of exclusion by her family members and society, no one talks about the ups and downs of a surrogate's life.

Surrogacy is an arrangement between a woman (also known as the surrogate) and the intended parents who are willing to have a child. In which a woman carries and bears a child for another person; it is one of the best options for infertile couples. People opt for surrogacy for a variety of reasons,  women who cannot conceive naturally due to fertility problems, miscarriage or risky pregnancies. The great benefit of surrogacy is for those who are failing in all the clinical fertilization tests like IVF, ICSI, IUI conceives the child. Even same-sex couples or single people can complete their families through surrogacy.

However, for an intended couple, surrogacy can be a mixture of several emotions, such as relief, joy, hope, gratitude for the donor of the uterus, or the sadness of having to hire a surrogate for medical reasons. In which, the adoptive parents are always concerned about the emotional attachment of the child as it is not born through natural pregnancy.

But, the step becomes even harder when one opts to have a baby for someone else. Apart from physical challenges, surrogacy is a huge responsibility for the uterus donor, which involves tackling a rollercoaster of emotions before and after the pregnancy.

Most surrogate mothers are women from poor families who take up the assignment for money. It's generally believed that the transaction is purely commercial, but it is not easy for  the surrogate mothers to not to develop an emotional attachment to the babies they carried in their wombs for nine months and the pain they felt once the umbilical cord was snapped.

Choosing to be a surrogate is an emotional challenge. Carrying a baby for someone else is a big responsibility and most surrogates experience ups and downs throughout their journey. Therefore, it is recommended that surrogates should receive professional counseling before, during and after pregnancy.

Because the surrogate mothers are almost always from poor backgrounds, their need for money is stronger while their legal rights are fewer. Such women choose surrogacy because of financial troubles without having full knowledge of the emotional, social and health consequences of the process. In some cases the uterus donor experiences many health problems like bleeding during pregnancy, but they become more concerned for the fetus's health rather than their own health.

They live in fear of what will happen to their money if they miscarry or if the adoptive parents turn away from the contract. In most of the cases, poor and uneducated women do not understand the legal facts related to surrogacy, in such a situation, not having a written contract becomes a matter of concern for them. Due to the lack of knowledge about this, the rights of many people are violated.

Are commissioning parents really sensitive to her emotional, social and economic needs?

Probably not... the adoptive parents care and pay for the care of the woman renting her womb only till the baby is born. Any concern shown from the side of commissioning parents for the fetus's health can cause physical and psychological pressure for the surrogate mother. The vulnerability of such mothers because they belong to the poorer section, less educated women, lesser employment opportunities and lesser nutrition makes them more liable to maternal morbidity and mortality. The profits share goes to the medical professionals instead of the surrogate mothers.  

And what about the controversial social aspect of surrogacy? Has society ever paid attention to the underlying feelings and needs of the surrogate mother?

Surrogate mothers are always frowned upon by society. In fact, husbands  of surrogates are often uncomfortable with their wives’ ‘occupation’. Some donor mothers are forced to hide the truth about their pregnancy for fear of social censure. They often attribute the pregnancy to their husbands and then announce a stillborn at the end of pregnancy. Some women are also found to stop socializing with friends and relatives until they deliver the baby to the commissioning parents, moreover that, after the baby is born, the surrogate is not even allowed to see him.

Somewhere, surrogacy pregnancy should be considered a high-risk emotional experience as many surrogate mothers go through negative experiences during this time. There is a high risk of postpartum depression in surrogate mothers. They often experience feelings of guilt and anger both before and after they give up the babies to the commissioning parents.

India is known as the "surrogacy hub" of the world, where infertile couples, many from all over the world, go to rent wombs, that allows commercial surrogacy in the form of gestational surrogacy -'In this type, an egg donor is required to create the embryo that the surrogate mother would carry. Here, the In Vitro Fertilisation process is used. The embryo is created using the eggs of the intending mother and the sperm of the father, which then the surrogate carries.'

India’s gestational surrogacy is quite popular with the US, UK and Australian nationals who cannot carry their own pregnancy but still wish to have their own genetic children.