Indian society
and families have always been known all over the world for the depth and
sweetness in relationships. Especially, the relation of husband and wife is
known in the context of laying the foundation of a new society. People believe it’s
a ‘sacred relationship’
and ‘Created by God’. But, just as modernity and globalization are affecting
every sphere of life, in the same way the wrong impact of these modern ideas is
also being seen on marital life of couples. As a result, the relationship
between husband and wife is not only deteriorating but also breaking up.
Needs of
growing age, to fulfill the wish of extension of family and the taboos settled
in the society - these are some specific reasons and the social truths for which it is necessary for
any human being to get married. Even if the boy and the girl are mentally or
emotionally ready for it or not. That is why the husband - wife relationship which
is considered to be the closest in all relationships is deteriorating due to
dominating and degrading each other, today. This ego driven behaviour between
couples may rapture conflicting relationships which leads to spoil married life.
In some cases it has been
seen, that if a partner sees his or her ego is getting hurt he becomes violent.
Not only that instead of taking a stand for his partner in an opposite
situation, he makes fun of him along with others and Even suspicion if the partner is talking to a
friend or family member. They start opting a reluctant life. The sense of
mutual responsibility in both begin to fade away. All these are the
symbols of a mentally and
emotionally destructed husband-wife
relationship. Which has been named as 'Toxic-Relationship'.
What is this
toxic-relationship? How does it affect marital relations? What could be the
side effects of it? Is it right to adopt the option of live-in relationship in
such circumstances? Let us try to know through this article.
Regarding the
symptoms of toxic-relationship Mental Health Therapist Arubha Kabir says-
“Toxicity in a marital relationship is that stage where the relationship
between a couple becomes so worse that there is nothing left in it except
estrangement. In these situations, even while living with each other, partners
start feeling weak mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Due to career, money,
friends or any other reasons, they are unable to give time to each other after
a few years of marriage. Apart from this, the feeling of mutual respect between
the two does not exist even for a moment. Starts getting egoistic and
obsessed with the thought of 'Which of
the two is more financially capable'. It would not be wrong to say that the
relationship in which all the feelings have ended except for fulfilling of the
physical need. such a relationship is called a 'Tainted-relationship' or
'toxic-relationship'.
How can a
Toxic-Relationship affect married life?
Bitter reality
is that when the marital relationship becomes toxic, both partner suffers a
lot. Due to the fear of being humiliated in the society, they are forced to
maintain a relationship and live together, but this relationship is not less
than any torture or hell for them. Sometimes, the more emotional partner of the
two goes into a state of depression. Failure to take the right decision gives
rise to incidents like domestic violence, suicide or murder, whose victims are
not only women but men also. According to research, in the last few years, due
to the bitterness coming in married relationships, there is an increase in the
statistics of criminal activities.
It couldn't be wrong to
say that Indian society has observed a drastic change in its living pattern by
the past few years. People are slowly and gradually opening their minds towards
the idea of ‘live-in relationships’ to avoid the over burden, responsibilities and growing estrangements in a married life. However,
this change has been continuously under criticism and highly discussed as a burning
topic. But, this approach of relationship still carry the lack of legality and
acceptance by the society. Unlike marriage, in live-in relationships couples
are not married to each other but live together under the same roof that
resembles a relation like marriage.
Today’s youth and
Live-in Relationship
Nowadays our young
generation feel that ‘live-in relationship’ gives them the sense of freedom as
well as the feeling of a conjugal life without the restrictions posed by the
institution of marriage. In a live-in relationship, one can leave or stay
whenever he or she feels things aren’t working out. They consider it as a
walk-in, walk-out kind of relations. Today’s young generation want to enter
into marriage only when they make sure that they are compatible and can spend
their whole life with each other. In this way, they can easily choose their
partner as per their wish and can spend time with each other and even get the
freedom to make physical relations which is
hardly possible before marriage. Young couples also believe that when our constitution gives
'Freedom of Life' under the ‘Article 21’ then how choosing a life partner by
staying in a live-in relation could be immoral or unlawful.
In a judgement of the Supreme
Court a three judge bench, Chief Justice K G Balakrishnan, Deepak Verma and B S
Chauhan opined that a man and woman living together without marriage
cannot be construed as an offence."When two adult people want to live
together what is the offence. Does it amount to an offence? Living together is
not an offence. It cannot be an offence,"
In a landmark case of S. Khushboo. Kanninammal(2010)5SSC600,
the Supreme Court held that living relationship comes within the ambit of ‘Right
to Life’ under Article 21 of the Constitution of India. The court further held
that live-in relationships are permissible and the act of two major living together
cannot can’t be considered illegal or unlawful.
In Lata Singh Vs State of UP &Anr., AIR2006 SC2522,
The SC of India observed that live-in relationship between two consenting
adults of heterogenic sex does not amount of any offence (with the obvious
exception of adultery), even though it may be perceive as immoral.
In Indra SarmaVs V.K.V Sarma(2013)15SSC 755 Supreme
Court said Live-in or marriage any approach of relationship is neither a crime
nor a sin though socially unacceptable in this country. The decision to marry or
not to marry or to have a heterosexual relationship is intensely personal.
For the very first time in Protection of Women from Domestic
Violence Act, 2005 (Pwdva), the legislature has acknowledged live-in
relationships by giving rights and protection to those females who are not
legally married, but rather are living with a male individual in a
relationship, which is in the idea of marriage, additionally akin to wife,
however not equivalent to wife.
Let’s discuss the Cons
of Live-in Relationship through few points
1. 1.As because there is no social responsibility exist in Live-in relations one can misuse this and can change the partner without any social or legal restrictions.
2. 2. In such relationship one partner who is emotionally weak can feel insecure after some time especially girls as the future of their relationship remains uncertain.
3. 3. According to some studies 80% of Indians still consider Live-in relationship a huge taboo, while 47% believe marriage is a much better option than Live-in type of relations.
4 4. Even in the today’s modern generation men prefer women who are virgin, which possibly difficult in a Live-in relationship.
5. It has been observed that children born
during live-in relationships are often victims of social depression.
6. It is not easy for a middle class couple
to get consent from the elders of their family for a live-in relationship.
7.Even Punjab and Haryana HC clarified in
a recent judgement that “Live-in Relationship
are morally and socially unacceptable and any legal protections can’t be given
for such relation, the entire social fabric would get disturb if such protect
is granted”.
Though Live-in Relationship gradually is getting legal
approval in our country but, another worse truth cannot be ignored that even
though a marital relationship has to go through hundreds of estrangements but
it has complete legal protection. Whereas, even in today's modern era a live-in
relationship has to face many legal and social implications. Indian Law still
unclear about the status of such relationship. There is no particular law
regarding the matter of live-in relationship in our country. There is still no
enactment to lay down the rights and commitments for the parties in a live-in
relationship, and for the status of children born to such couples.
Good and bad aspects
are inherent in every relationship whether it is marital or live in. Keeping in mind the saying of the elders that “any relationship
is very difficult to form, but it is easy to break”. A bitter and tainted
relationship can be repaired and heal by mutual reconciliation in time, all it
takes is some patience, understanding, emotional attachment, determination and
a lot of effort. Now the decision is up to you, what approach of relationship
do you choose?
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